Purple Haze
by greasymechanic
Summary: With the intake of smoke and weed the image of Logan, who he now assumed to be his ex-boyfriend, started to disappear slowly and he knew he would soon sink into a world where nothing mattered, where everything was just the way he wanted it to be. RPS.


**So this came to be after a talk about James and Barnett (the guy who plays Guitar Dude) doing drugs. I just had to write it, and so I did. Wrote it a long time ago but never posted it, so, here I am, posting it. There's James/Logan in the background, because as it turns out, I just can't write pointless smut.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or anything associated with the show.**

'Barnett?' His voice rose a little in excitement at the sound of his cast member talking to him over the phone; as they both had been on a break from the set for a while, they hadn't talked to each other in ages and James had to admit, he had missed his colleague. He had missed his laid-back personality, not ever worrying about anything and always up to try something. When James felt like the Hollywood pressure was becoming too much, he'd always end up with Barnett. Every time again.

'The one and only,' Barnett laughed and they both went silent for a few seconds, not feeling the need to say anything. James knew Barnett would tell him why he was calling soon anyway and as predicted, he was right.

'Dude, I'm in La Jolla right now,' Barnett's voice happily sang and James couldn't help but smile at the news. His colleague didn't even have to ask the question that was burning on his lips: James had offered for him to come over and stay at his place before he could even start his sentence.

'I do have some stuff with me,' the long-haired actor said and James could almost see him smile and raise his eyebrows, winking suggestively at him. He knew perfectly well what his friend meant with "stuff" and he couldn't stop the grin that was slowly spreading its way across his face at the thought of what they would be doing later that night.

'Rad. Bring it,' James immediately answered. He heard Barnett chuckle at the other end of the phone.

'A little eager to let go, aren't you? Are your bandmates a little too uptight around you, bro?'

'Shut up and meet me at Scripps Pier at ten,' James snapped back and hung up, knowing Barnett would be there no matter how awful he treated him. He sighed, grabbed his surfboard, and tried to ignore the nagging voice in his head that screamed at him he was walking away from his problems; the voice sounded awfully similar to Logan's, which only worsened his train of thought. Thinking of Logan alone made him cringe in disbelief and pain and he pushed the memories away sternly, not wanting to let the flirt rule his mind again.

He had been overthinking lately, how his sudden fame had overwhelmed him in ways he had never considered possible. Sure, he was driven and he had his goal in mind. Sure, he was positive he wanted to sing, to act, to get a reward for his hard work. But what he hadn't signed up for was the awful lot of screaming fangirls haunting him wherever he went. He always remained patient, flashing them a sweet smile and giving them what they wanted, but at some point it became too much, even for him, who had lasted longer than his bandmates had. And when James Maslow broke under the pressure, all that could be done was leave him alone for a while.

Sometimes, just occasionally, he went off on his own, taking a break to clear his head; surfing was the only activity contributing to the matter, but on tour there'd been no possibility to do exactly that and that was the reason why James headed to the gym quite often: maybe more frequently than the others liked him to. It caused him to miss out on the activities the other three did; including the Livestream for their fans.

His absence had caused some unresolved tension between the four, even on set, and that was when James and Barnett were drawn to each other, finding their connection in both holding up an attitude that practically said "Screw the world, I do what I do." This was of much annoyance to everyone around them, especially Logan. James was afraid to think about the consequences if they found out what really happened in Barnett's dressing room and why exactly Barnett pulled his Guitar Dude so well.

James shook his head, pulled off his shirt and ran into the sea, paddling upon his board, the waves hitting him in the face. Mellow was the word that described him and his desires best, or at least it used to, and tonight would most definitely be mellow.

~.~.~.~

'Jay!' Barnett called as he slowly walked towards the brunette, absentmindedly kicking the sand underneath his feet away. His hands were buried into his pockets and his shoulders hung low, complete relaxation dawned upon his features.

'Barnay,' James answered teasingly as he tore his gaze away from the flames in front of him, that were creating a hint of light and warmth in the darkness of the night.

'It's silent,' Barnett softly said as his eyes darted over the deserted beach. James shrugged and smiled up at him, confidence growing within him.

'That just means we won't have any intruders, which is good,' he said and glared up at Barnett, a mischievous look sparkling in his hazel eyes. Barnett sat down and grabbed a brown bag out of his pocket while looking at James, who was eyeing him with a strange look spread across his face.

'You're way too tense, man,' Barnett sighed and raised his eyebrows at him, soundlessly asking him what his problem was and how he could fix this.

'That's what you're here for. Like always.'

'You shouldn't depend on me or the good stuff to relax, JJ.' James shot him an annoyed look and groaned at the nickname. He then proceeded to stare at the fire in front of him, frowning deeply as he silently watched the flames move softly.

'Maybe we shouldn't do this tonight,' Barnett remarked after a short silence. James jerked up and this time, it wasn't a simple annoyed look he shot his friend: this time, it was a death glare.

'Stop being so wise and careful with me! I have an entire management team doing that for me, thank you very much, and even Kendall, Carlos and Logan tend to do that.' James cringed at the name of the latter, then shook it off and looked back at Barnett, his eyes pleading. 'Not you, too. Please.'

He felt his eyes soften, even though he wanted to stay mad at his friend, but as he tried to get his act back together, Barnett chuckled and looked into his eyes.

'Alright bro, get your head outta your butt. We'll do it.' He unfolded the brown bag and pulled out the contents, James sighing contently at the sight of the weed in front of him, resting in Barnett's lap. He knew he'd be in an enormous amount of trouble if the press caught him doing this, which was the exact reason why they always used Barnett's dressing room, but La Jolla gave him a small amount of recklessness and he knew no one except for stoners and horny couples came here at night. Little did James know that he would belong to the latter as well; it was only a matter of time, or hits, in reality.

'There's enough for two, but I only brought equipment for one. We'll have to share one,' Barnett said as he rolled up the joint. James just nodded, trying to forget his worries about Logan being mad at him for "not paying enough attention to what happened around him". When he closed his eyes, all he could see was Logan's hurt expression and all he could hear was Logan's voice, telling him what an "ignorant son of a bitch" he was. He cringed as the humiliation and hurt overwhelmed him again and he opened his eyes abruptly, to see that Barnett was just finishing up and was offering him the joint.

'Sure you don't mind smoking something that has been touched by my stoner lips?' Barnett laughed, even though his laugh reminded James of a dog barking.

'Yeah, you're so filthy.' James just simply rolled his eyes and put the joint between his lips, inhaling deeply. With the intake of smoke and weed the image of Logan, who he now assumed to be his ex-boyfriend, started to disappear slowly and he knew he would soon sink into a world where nothing mattered, where everything was just the way he wanted it to be. Except that Logan wasn't there.

'Hey, leave something for me, man.' Barnett's voice sounded from what seemed distances away. James coughed in surprise and handed the joint back to his friend, feeling how his body already relaxed, how the familiar feeling of spinning and mellowness dawned upon him slowly, creeping up on him until he was too far away to function properly. He waited until the lack of power and control would hit him, but because he hadn't had enough yet, it never happened.

'Give,' he simply stated, his voice impatient, and Barnett chuckled slightly as he handed the joint over and watched as he put it between his lips again, inhaling deeply. The pot got straight to his lungs as he inhaled again and this time, he let the joint linger between his lips for a little while longer, while falling back onto the sand and staring up at the sky. The longer he stared, the more it seemed like the stars were twinkling diamonds, floating against the black surface.

'Why are there diamonds in the sea?' James suddenly giggled as the sand touched his hair, not caring for once that it may ruin the perfectness of it. His gaze was captured by the stars, sparkling in the sky, and he could not tear his eyes away from the scene, feeling how the earth started to spin beneath him. In any other circumstances, he would throw his hand over his mouth in shame: James Maslow never giggled. Unless he was high, of course. Which was totally not the case right now… Of course not.

'I see none,' Barnett replied, staring at the water, his head not clear enough to realize what James meant. James flipped his hair as he sat up again, flashing his famous smile. For a moment, he wished he had a waterpipe within reach, remembering the time his brother had thrown a going away party and how much better a waterpipe filled with weed had been compared to this. Then again, the waterpipe made him do stuff no one ever would forget. Pictures didn't lie, as much as he hoped they would.

Another hit, more weed in his body, the world was spinning and James was suddenly very aware of how close Barnett was, how their skin touched, how Barnett's hand was on his, probably trying to get the joint back, but turning out to be the start of something entirely different. His eyes fluttered shut as he tried to ignore the burning feeling taking him over and he knew Barnett noticed.

'So Logan is finally out of your head, huh?' he heard Barnett say and oh god, was he really that obvious? Did he really let it slip through, had they really been the perfect couple and how did he know and _why _were the diamonds from the sea now suddenly sparkling in the eyes of his friend?

'There are diamonds in your eyes,' James muttered, avoiding the question, and as he looked down, he saw how Barnett fumbled the joint out of his fingers and put it between his own lips, yet never breaking skin contact with James while doing so.

'That's strange. Right now, _you_ are a diamond,' Barnett softly said and normally James would have laughed, scoffed or either freaked out, but all he could do now was stare and notice the stubble at Barnett's jaw, his long hair swaying along with the light breeze, how his skin seemed to light up with glow in the dark. He felt lightheaded by watching just that, intrigued by the new spotlight he saw his bud in, but he wasn't sure whether it was the drugs or the infatuation of the sudden beauty seated next to him. Barnett raised an eyebrow at him, copying his signature move.

'What? Are you seeing pink elephants now?' and he let out a chuckle only people under influence could produce, but James wasn't amused. Elephants were not to be made fun of, he wasn't either, and he didn't want to be compared to an elephant, especially not if they were pink.

'Elephants are serious business,' James pouted and crossed his arms. Barnett just laughed.

'Oh yeah?'

'It's sad. They die alone.' James fell silent and a fear he couldn't describe or explain suddenly overwhelmed him. He swallowed hard, trying to hide the tears slowly welling up, tears he never had showed before. He was famous for his smile, for always being the happy one, but the words still escaped his mouth as he tried to stay strong.

'I don't want to die alone.' His mind wandered to Logan, how Logan had left him and how he was alone now, maybe even for eternity. He stared at the fire in front of them, watching the flames that seemed to come alive the longer he stared at them.

'You won't,' Barnett softly said and put his arm around his shoulders, resting his head against the singer.

'How do you know?'

'Because I do.' They fell silent for a few minutes, the joint they shared long forgotten; there was no sound, except for the fire burning the wood up, and James sighed deeply, trying to remember how he got into this mess and when exactly he turned so hungry, when his lusts and emotions had taken him over so badly. He knew that Barnett must have been going through the same thing, how his senses seemed to come alive, and right then, he felt a pair of lips pressed to his own and he almost fell on his back again out of shock.

'What… Why… Barnett!' James shrieked, trying to act offended, but all he could think of was how _good _it had felt, how it seemed the right thing to do since they were obviously both hungry… For each other.

'Imagine me and you, and you and me, so happy we could toss the dice to wait and see.' Barnett's words made no sense at all to James, but for once, he felt like they didn't have to either. Barnett smiled up at him and suddenly James felt like the world could go fuck itself, because really, he was lonely, he was high and _fuck, he was horny._

He didn't know who made the first move after that, but suddenly they were all over each other, James with his back pressed against the sand and Barnett straddling him as their lips moved in sync . He felt how Barnett's stubble scratched against his jaw, how his hand was sliding up and down his chest, and it really was too much. He felt the sand under his shirt, he felt Barnett's lips against his, he felt how their crotches lightly touched and there was Barnett _everywhere. _The moan escaping his lips couldn't be held back and Barnett grinned against his lips as he opened James's mouth with his tongue, soon exploring James's mouth and licking his way in.

James swallowed and his hands flew up to Barnett's hair, pulling softly, trying to get him closer. Now their chests touched and Barnett's hand was stuck between their bodies, but neither of them cared as they continued harassing each other, kissing roughly and turning it into a full make-out session. The earth beneath him spun and he felt like the entire universe was moving along with him as he thrust his hips up into Barnett, grinding against him without actually meaning to.

'Slow down,' Barnett groaned and he let his hand slip underneath the hem of James's shirt, slowly moving upwards and tweaking his left nipple, making James moan in his mouth and arching his back up slightly. Barnett grinned and he let go of James for a second, tugging at the hem of his shirt and removing the piece of clothing in a split second. He threw his own off a second after that and moved his lips to his neck, sucking at the skin and biting down hard. James moved his head to the left slightly to give Barnett better access, feeling how the guy's tongue slipped against his skin, licking up the sweat slowly forming there. He sighed and when Barnett grinded down on him, his nails flew up to his back and dug into the skin deeply as he tried to bite back the moans forming in his throat.

'Do something,' James hungrily hissed and Barnett didn't have to be told twice, his hips immediately grinding down onto James in steady rhythm. James closed his eyes and felt how Barnett moved his lips to his collarbone, kissing it lightly and soon sucking it, knowing it would form a bruise. He focused on Barnett's groin pressing into his own and pushed his leg between his, slowly touching the apparent bulge forming through his jeans and pressing against it with his knee, causing Barnett to finally let out the first moan as well. He felt the pressure building up inside him as they made each other harder with every second, Barnett's hard-on pressing against James's leg and Barnett still sucking his collarbone.

Right then, Barnett's hand slid down James's chest, exploring the skin beneath him. His nails scratched teasingly against his skin and stopped at the waistband of his jeans, playing with the zipper a little. He palmed James through his jeans and James couldn't hold back a scream, catching his breath and his eyes flying open in shock. He gasped as he felt Barnett's hand slip beneath the clothing, touching his naked cock.

'Take off my fucking jeans,' James muttered and Barnett happily obliged, rolling the pants down his legs and removing his own too. His mouth slowly let go of his collarbone and moved south, kissing and licking across his chest and leaving a small trail of saliva, but James didn't mind. All he could think of was how lightheaded he was and how fucking good this felt, but then suddenly, Barnett was mouthing James through the fabric of his boxers and nothing made sense anymore, his whole body burning for more.

His hands tangled in Barnett's hair and Barnett got the hint, removing the boxers and licking at the tip of James's cock, before taking him into his mouth completely. James fought the urge to thrust up into his mouth and was doing quite a good job, until Barnett's left hand went straight to his balls and all boundaries holding him back had gone, resulting in James into fucking Barnett's mouth.

'Easy there, cowboy,' Barnett laughed and pulled off, pushing his fingers between James's lips without giving directions, but it didn't matter anyway because James knew what to do. He swirled his tongue around the fingers pressed in his mouth, looking up at Barnett just in time to see him close his eyes in pleasure. James held back a grin and coated his fingers in saliva, pulling off then and looking up at Barnett, fluttering his eyelashes, begging for more.

His lips were immediately met by Barnett's and he enjoyed how they fought for dominance, knowing he would lose anyway and end up sucking Barnett's tongue as he always did with anybody he ever kissed. As much as he liked to act dominant, he knew he wasn't and this was only confirmed when Barnett pushed a finger in his hole without warning. He stopped moving his lips for a second and wiggled his hips, trying to get used to the intrusion his body was experiencing. Barnett pushed his finger slowly in and out in a steady rhythm, causing James to curl up against him and thrust along with him. When he hit the bundle of nerves inside of James that drove him wild, James growled, his legs wrapping around Barnett's hips and throwing his head in his neck, forgetting to breathe for a moment.

'Do that again,' he sighed with closed eyes and prepared himself for the amazing feeling to flow over him again, but instead, he felt how Barnett pushed a second finger in and scissored the two, stretching him out. Normally, James would have cringed at the burning feeling, but now, probably because of the weed, he felt nothing but pleasure and pushed his cock against Barnett's, causing his friend to growl in his ear. He moved his hand down to his friend's penis and stroked a few times, getting him ready to do what he desired most right at that moment.

'Do it,' he whispered and the fingers were pulled out him, leaving him with an emptiness filling him. He closed his eyes, holding on to Barnett tightly, and then he felt how the tip of Barnett's cock was pressing against his hole and slowly pushing in, causing his entire body to tense up and tremble at the intrusion that was bigger than he was used to with Logan.

'Fuck,' he hissed and Barnett stopped, but he shook his head, signaling him to move on and so he did. Once he was fully buried in his friend, he started moving slowly, pulling out until only his tip was left, and slammed back in with such force that James trembled even harder, gasping as if his life depended on it. James buried his face in the crook of Barnett's neck and felt how every single emotion and feeling overwhelmed him, dawning upon him and making his head spin right round, he didn't know what he was doing and why, but he knew the world would fall apart if they stopped right now. As Barnett pushed into him, James pushed his hips up, moving along with his thrusts, his body covered in sweat at the exertion.

Barnett sped up his pace, slamming into James faster, knowing this would be a quick one since everything they felt, was more strong by them being under influence. It seemed as if James's tightness surrounded him even more than he could have guessed and his heat was swallowing him up. He knew he was close without them even having to do this long and his hand wrapped around James's cock, pumping at the same time he pushed into James. He felt how James's movements became more erratic and how he clenched around him and moaned loudly, knowing anyone could hear them, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Suddenly, James sat up and rolled them over, resulting in James riding Barnett, thrusting down on him with such force that Barnett hit his prostate dead on at the new angle. He impaled himself on Barnett, feeling how he was still being stroked at the same time, and when he felt flesh hitting flesh and Barnett hit his prostate one more time, the familiar heat overwhelmed him and his stomach clenched. Instead of the white flash he was used to, a purple haze was blinding his eyes now and he was squirting all over Barnett's stomach, causing the boy underneath him to come with a shout and filling him up to the brim. James fell onto Barnett with a sigh, his hair sticking to his forehead, listening to his friend's heart beating against his ear.

'This was a bad idea,' he muttered, coming down from the high they both experienced. Barnett lifted his head and raised his eyebrow at him for the third time that night.

'You had fun, right?'

'Fun is an understatement,' he mumbled and avoided looking into Barnett's eyes, knowing his cheeks were reddening. Not that that was anything new, but for now, it was out of embarrassment instead of the rosacea.

'Well then, nothing is wrong. You needed this and Logan will come back to you and that's all okay.'

'But… This? Won't this… What was this?' Now that he felt completely sober, panic started to get to him, mellowness all forgotten. He cheated on Logan, he got high, and did he really just fuck Barnett? Oh god, he fucked Barnett, the one friend who always made him feel relaxed. _What did he do?_

'This was us being under influence and wanting to fuck. This was you feeling lonely. This was _us, _the way we are, but tomorrow, Logan will be at your doorstep and that will be _Logan and James, _which is better than Barnett and James will ever be.'

'But…' James seemed to struggle with the idea; he wasn't the guy who had sex and forgot about it the next day, but apparently, Barnett was. Little did he know that Barnett was the one who wanted this all along and was giving up his own happiness for James's, but he would never admit it to anyone. He was doomed to be the bachelor forever and if that meant James was happy, he was okay with that.

James tightened his grip on Barnett, not wanting to let go yet, not wanting to go back to reality, to face the problems he had. Right now, he was at Scripps Pier, his favorite place in the whole wide world, and he had just experienced the most amazing sex of his life. He was not ready to give that up yet.

Below him, Barnett slowly started to sing as they both stared at the fire that was slowly lessening in heat and brightness. James closed his eyes and fell asleep as Barnett softly hummed.

'_Purple haze all around, don't know if I'm coming up or down. Am I happy or in misery? Whatever it is, that boy put a spell on me.'_


End file.
